The Waiting Game

 

It's different planning to have children through IVF. There is a lot of planning and scheduling that goes into the whole process. It's a little strange talking to people so openly about when you are thinking of going through with in-vitro because ultimately you are telling them when you are planning on getting pregnant. That is the hope anyways. It just loses the surprise and spontaneity that most people think of when it comes to bearing children. Don't get me wrong, we are so thankful and grateful that this is even a possibility. Our experience will just be one unique to the situation. 

We have a phone consultation with an IVF specialist based in San Fransisco in two weeks. We go back and forth with what timing will be best. I have googled more then a few times the question "what is the best time of year to have a baby?" Most everyone's answer the same, that any time of year is a great time of year. I think that speaking to the doctor will hopefully make things a little more clear. Plus once that baby is tucked in nice and safe inside of you, there is no turning back.

I recently received a church calling to be in the Primary and even though it's been a good experience, I still come home every Sunday asking Jake if he is sure he really wants to have children. It's a big commitment and a lot of responsibility. Just a side note, did you know the Latin meaning of "In Vitro" means experimental biology. I find this funny because I have heard several people say that through the whole process they felt like one big science experiment.

Jake has been so supportive and has assured me he will be there for me as much as possible. Jake has busy season January - April every year so that is something else we are taking into consideration. There is a lot to think and pray about over here. We just want to thank you again for your thoughts and prayers. 
None of this would be possible with out your support and love.

J&L

No Small Miracle...

Good news!!!!  The doctor says it's a miracle and the topic of his most recent blog entry!

http://theturekclinic.com/mapmaker-fna-map-sperm-mapping-azoospermia-sterility/

Above is the short email that Jake sent to his family last night!!!

We are so excited, yet know that there is a long road ahead of us. Honestly, we started this blog on the chance of us having to adopt. We knew that expecting moms used blogs as a way to learn about families they were thinking about giving their child to. Now however, I hope to turn this into a blog about our experiences. I know that I have felt so much hope and peace as I have learned and heard stories about others and their journeys through trials and blessings. Who knows, maybe one day Jake and I can provide that same hope and peace for someone else as well. 

We want to sincerely thank everyone for your thoughts and prayers. This was no small miracle. When the Doctor called last night he was truly amazed beyond belief. 1 of 3 cases in the world, now that is the power of our Heavenly Father right there! 

We love you, we are thankful for you and we know that our Heavenly Father loves us and watches over us! 
Thank you, Thank YOU, THANK YOU!!! 

Last night as we read scriptures together, Jake read to me 
 Moroni 7 :27-29

 27. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, have ^amiracles ceased because Christ hath ascended into heaven, and hath sat down on the right hand of God, to ^bclaim of the Father his rights of mercy which he hath upon the children of men?

 28. For he hath answered the ends of the law, and he claimeth all those who have faith in him; and they who have faith in him will ^acleave unto every good thing; wherefore he ^badvocateth the cause of the children of men; and he dwelleth eternally in the heavens.

 29. And because he hath done this, my beloved brethren, have miracles ceased? Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither have ^aangels ceased to minister unto the children of men.

  Our God is a God of miracles, this is our testimony!

J&L

Please Come HOME!!!

Jake has been out of town for two weeks now and I am going crazy! I miss him so much and find my life so much less fulfilling when he is gone. It's as if part of me is missing and it hurts my soul. The good news is that he comes home tonight and I just want to jump for joy while crying with relief at the same time. 

He goes out of town fairly often for work, mostly to St. George. I would love to be able to travel with him but working full time doesn't really allow a lot of absence. So for now I just count down the hours, minutes and seconds till he gives me one of his best bear hugs and I get to melt in his arms. 

Jacob Ross Decker, I love you!!! Please drive safe!!!

We had the chance to go back east this spring and visit NYC and DC. Some how looking at pictures of him helps my blues.

 

Come What May and Love It

One of my dear friends called me last night and asked if we had heard any news from the doctor in California yet. We haven't, we probably wont till the end of this week or the beginning of next. Jake is out of town in St. George this week so I would like to wait till he gets home to hear the news together anyways. 

There are two outcomes for us at this point:

1. We hear that they have found some good "baby making ingredients" and we move forward towards IVF treatment. This would take a few months to set up and get going, but at least we would know what direction to take.

2. We start looking into adoption. I have really loved what I have read and found out about adoption through LDS family services. One of the requirements though, is that you have to be married a full two years before you are eligible to adopt. Which really is a good thing, it just means we would have a while before we could even apply, September 2014.

Honestly, Jake and I feel at peace about either of these options. There are blessings and challenges that come with both and at this point we are working on just putting our trust in the Lord and his plan for us. We would love to have children of our own, little Jacob's and Laurie's running around, but we realize that for many families children come in a variety of different ways.

I am so thankful for the sealing power that we have through the restored gospel and for the blessing it has been in my marriage. I know that it would be just as wonderful in the case of adoption. I know that through the Priesthood, we will be able to be a family "together forever" no matter what. What a comfort that is.

Thank you once again for your faith, prayers and "check up" phone calls. They mean so much to both Jake and I. We will do our best to keep you posted.

 - J&L

Here are some pictures from this last weekend. It was a fun one and it was so great to have my wonderful husband home for a few days!

I got to dance this weekend!!! These amazing girls and I performed in a performance series called "Ring Around the Rose". These are three of the other teachers I teach with at Virgina Tanner Dance Studios. I changed too quickly out of my costume, so excuse the black.

Right before the curtain went up.

When Jake and I got home, we had some major raking to do.

I like this picture because you can see our cute house. I use to dislike the color of it, but the dark green is growing on me. Oh and I made that wreath this past week too. It only cost $1.00 to make. I was pretty proud of myself.

Jake wanted to see if Mickey would walk around and crush down the leaves for him in our mulch bin.

Yeah, he pretty much just stayed put and looked cute the whole time.

Crunching the leaves down then became my job. Good thing Jake was there in case I fell.

Leukemia

I'm sure many of you have seen this, but just in case you haven't it is a must see.

I found this video while reading one of my favorite blogs: ablogaboutlove.com which I would suggest looking at if you haven't before, it's written by an outstanding couple who through the midst of trials always find light, love and happiness. This video however, had a big impact on me and I would like to share with you why.

When Jake was 10 years old he spent one year of his life living in a Children's Hospital. Shortly after his family had moved from Arizona to Utah he was diagnosed with Leukemia. It was a rare case of the disease and something the doctors had not seen before. Instead of just having strain of Leukemia running through his bone marrow, he had four.  One of those strains was the most common strain for children to have, the others were ones you would see in adults.

Jake under went chemotherapy, radiation and then finally a bone marrow transplant. His brother was able to be his donor, and now they like to talk about how the same blood runs through their veins. It truly is a miracle that my husband is alive and healthy today. 

I love him so much and can't imagine a life with out him. He completes me in every sense of the way and compels me to be the best person I can. I am so thankful to all those who helped and aided him and his family during that chapter of his life almost 20 years ago. All the prayers, the child care for his siblings, financial donations etc. He is his parent's miracle child and now he is a miracle in my life as well. 

It is amazing to see the work that goes on in Children's Hospitals and the strength, bravery, and courage those little ones have to have as they press forward to survive. I can only imagine what incredible things these children in the video will be able to go on and do in their life time because of the love and care they received during their Hospital stay.

In Santa Cruz on our CA trip, enjoying the sun and the warm weather.

Just napin'

We stayed with friends at a Navel Air Base and were able to tour all the fighter Jets.

I'm so thankful to have this man in my life!

Yosemite

Exactly one week ago today Jake and I were in Yosemite National Park. Jake had been wanting to go there for a while so our trip to California became the perfect opportunity to "swing" by. We camped there on Tuesday night and then saved up Wednesday to do some exploring. I'm not going to lie, it was a little more difficult to pack for our little camp out on top of the packing we were doing for the rest of the trip but we made it work. 

The view as we drove in

 

Yes, I like pictures of us kissing

 The temperature was a lot cooler then in the rest of the state and because of that we decided we would just sleep in the car. It seemed reasonable at the time and it did save us space in the car from not having to pack a tent but I don't know if it's something we would do again. We drove Jake's little Honda Civic so we put the backseat down and scrunched our feet into the trunk. It was an experience for sure and we had some good laughs as we tossed and turned trying to get comfortable. 

The BEFORE bed

The AFTER. As you can see, not the best nights sleep.

Thinking ahead I had zipped two sleeping bags together before we left SLC hoping that the body heat from both of us would help to keep us even warmer. I still believe it would have worked but unfortunately water from the cooler spilled all over one of the bags on the way there. We didn't discover the problem till we arrived in the park and with the sun setting I was worried it was going to be a disastrous night. As we were unpacking the car, and getting the fire going our neighbor to the left of us who was staying in a camper came out to greet us. After we chatted she said in a bit of a stern voice "If you are going to get cold you best tell me now. We have plenty of blankets but we go to bed quite early". She had no idea about our wet sleeping bag but her offer turned out to be an answer to prayer. With her warm "Sun" blanket as she called it, we actually did quite well on the warm front. We were so thankful for her offer to help two strangers whom she had never met. 

The next morning we woke up and finally got a glimpse of the beautiful river that we slept by. After taking these pictures we realized how creepy I look in my big black Sister missionary coat.

Creeper ?

Jake had wanted to hike to the top of half dome which is 14 miles round trip but they had taken the "chains" down a few weeks earlier since the seasons had gotten cooler. So we decided to hike instead to the top of Nevada Falls. It was perfect for me, and it gave us a chance to see a few more fun things in the park as well. I love my husband and I am so thankful for his love of National Parks. I had never been to Yosemite before but it is a trip we will definitely make again. It was beyond beautiful! 

On our way up the mountain. As you can see it was cold and yes I look a little funny wearing a beanie

Half way there. Beginning to see the falls

If you look close... How beautiful is that!

We found this beautiful lake at the top of our Hike. No one was around and the waters were so quite

The over look at the top of the falls

I was amazed by the majesty of the Sequoias. They were my favorite.
We hiked to a few before we left the Park.

Back in the days of the Model T, cars use to drive through this tree tunnel.

Fallen yet still magical

This was our favorite tree. We used Jake's fancy panoramic camera feature to capture the whole thing.

In the end we felt as if we had conquered the park.

Thank You!

Our official appointment with the Doctor was this past Thursday October 31st. Yep it landed on Halloween. Thank goodness it didn't end up being as spooky as we thought it might. First of all though, we want to send out a huge thank you to all who have fasted and prayed on our behalf. Your prayers were felt and the procedure went flawlessly. The Doctor was beaming afterwards at how well things ended up going. Jake and I felt nervous but were thankful for a Doctor whom we could trust. We are also grateful for the faith we were able to have because of the testifying spirit that we could feel. We won't know the final results for a few more weeks, however we are comforted by the fact that we have done all we can do and the rest is up to the Lord. So thank you honestly a million times over, because we know that each individual small prayer was the result the miracle that everything ran so smoothly.

We had an added opportunity to do a little sight seeing in SF before Jake's appointment which turned out to be a fun surprise. The Doctor was flying in from LA that morning and his flight had been delayed. So instead of going in for surgery at 10:00 am we were pushed back till 1:30 pm which was actually a bit of a blessing. We got to visit the Golden Gate Bridge, drive down Lombard St. and even grab something to eat at Mama's. The doctor's office was across the street from Pier 39 so it was the perfect location. It was a beautiful day and we loved the added time we got to spend together in such a fun city.

Oh hey, hubby.

We loved watching the sea lions. They crack me up when they are interacting with each other.

Jake as he drives down Lombard St. What a Pro!

The view as we winded down.

Mama's where we ate a delectable brunch. The line wrapped around the building but it was worth it.

Notice that I am wearing Jake's work boots... My feet really started to hurt after walking around the city in my high heals all morning. I was more then happy to wear these clunkers and give my feet a nice break.

Our few moments before entering to see the Doctor.

I love this man SO much!

Looking out from the window of Dr. Turek's Office: Breath Taking.

We were told upon arrival to the office that another couple from Utah was coming in that same day for the same procedure. What a coincidence. I got to meet and talk with them while Jake was undergoing everything. They were from Orem and were so sweet. We talked about our different experiences and what doctors we had seen in the valley. It was just helpful to meet others who were going through the same thing we are. 

Jake and I really can't express gratitude enough for all the support we have felt and the blessings we have seen. Miracles do happen and we are here to testify of that. We will continue to hope and pray that everything will go well once we know the results.
Thank you once again! J&L